Jaycee Keef
Vapours 03/25/10 08/08/2011
 
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THERE is no disease that puzzles Physicians more than the VAPOURS, and HYSTERICK FITS. These complaints are produced by so many causes, and appear in so many various shares, that 'tis no easy matter to describe them.  However, some of the Symptoms are, a Thumping of the Heart, a Croaking of the Guts, and a Fullness of the stomach, which the Patient endeavours to ease, as much as she can, by Belching: Every now and then too, something seems to rise up in her Throat, that almost stops her Breath: She has moreover, a great Heaviness, and Dejection of Spirit, and a Cloud seems to hang upon all her Senses.  In one Word, she has no Relish for any thing, but is continually out of Humour, she knows not why, and out of Order, she knows not where.

 

THIS is certainly a miserable Condition, and the more so, because the Weakness of the Nerves makes the Cure exceeding difficult.

 

BECAUSE the Stomach is suspected to be much in Fault, I would have That Cleans'd in the first Place, with a Vomit of Indian Physick: The next Day, purify the Bowels, by a Purge of the same; which must be repeated 2 Days after.  The rest of the Cure must be perform'd by the exact Observation of the following Rules.  Endeavour to preserve a cheerful Spirit, putting the best Construction upon every Body's Words and Behaviour: Plunge, 3 Mornings every Week, into cold Water, over Head and Ears; which will brace the Nerves, and rouze the sluggish Spirits surprisingly.  Observe a strict Regularity and Temperance in your Diet; and ride every fair Day, small Journeys, on Horseback.  Stir nimbly about your Affairs, quick Motion being as necessary for Health of Body, as for Dispatch of Business, In the mean while, I absolutely forbid all sorts of Drams, which will raise the Spirits only to sink them lower; nor do I allow her one Pinch of Snuff, or one Drop of Bohea-Tea, which make People very lumpish and miserable.

 

HER Food must be fresh and easy of Digestion, neither Salt, nor windy; nor may she eat one Morsel of Beef, which affords a Gross Nourishment, and inclines People, too much, to hang themselves.  And for her Drink, she must forbear Beer, with all windy and fermented Liquors; and stick to Bawn Tea intirely.

 

TO escape this Disorder, she must suffer non of the idle Disturbances, or Disappointments of an empty World, to prey upon her Mind, or ruffle her sweet Temper.  let her use just Exercise enough to give a gentle spring to her Spirits, without wasting them; and let her be cheerful, in Spite of a churlish Husband, or cloudy Weather.

 

This remedy comes from Every Man his own Doctor (also known as The Poor Planter's Physician ) 3rd edition, printed & sold by Wil. Parks at his printing offices in Williamsburg, and Annapolis, 1736.   

 

I don't know about you, but plunging my entire body  into COLD water at least 3 times a week to brace my nerves, would probably do anything but...
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